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Jamie Barker's avatar

“How has our freedom to be anyone we want to be resulted in voluntarily stepping back into such a cramped space?” Excellent question. I ask it myself often.

Seeing women distort their faces and bodies in an attempt to… what? Be admired? Desirable? So sad.

When I was in ministry—two decades ago now—in California—I was in a very patriarchal system. On many occasions, the men in ministry tried to stifle me by either scolding me like a child, or saying I was “too bold” and I needed to “calm down.” Once I was told by an associate pastor that I was “too pretty” to be on a church staff, and it was causing problems for him. “I need to be looking at my wife, not at you,” he told me.

God didn’t design the mess that much of the church (and the world) is. We botched it up. As usual.

This was a good read, Mel. But it saddens me to know that a person with your heart and gifts should ever be made to feel less than.

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Melody's avatar

I’m so sorry that happened to you in ministry. Can you imagine how much more effective things would have been if they would have encouraged you, working alongside you as true co-workers?

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Jamie Barker's avatar

Yes I have imagined it a lot.

"I could have been a great many things, Mr. Mayor." --Jo March

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