Paper-doll women

Over the last decade or so, I have increasingly become bothered by the glass ceiling many women in ministry face. Although I use the glass ceiling image, I do not intend to imply that ministry is an upward trajectory; we know from our Teacher that it should, in fact, be a downward descent. However, I use the image to convey the experience of women being able to use their gifts and abilities only so far before they smack against something and are forced to pull back or restrict themselves from an organic growth of their personhood.

As I have often operated in more non-traditional spaces, such constrictions have not been too much of an issue for me personally. Not to mention, I have had privileges afforded to me through things like my skin color, citizenship, and socioeconomic status.

Recently, I wondered how my story here in Southeastern Europe would have looked had I the same credentials and training as I do now but was a man. It is an interesting thought, and I do think my story would have progressed very differently. However, God’s mission is a many-storied, intricate tapestry, and I believe I would have missed out on the richness of the pathways on which I have traveled.

In fact, I realize that I operate very comfortably in what I call the ‘nooks and crannies’ modes of influence. When well-traveled paths are restricted, you are free to look around, imagine, create and see other potential pathways. The Spirit is no less potent or powerful on these paths—and perhaps even more so because you are also free from the dangerous sirens of power, prestige, and adulation that can come with more prominent pathways.

And yet, I see the consequences of how cultural and religious expectations stifle women, forcing them into one-dimensional ways of being, like cut-out paper dolls. “Quenching the Spirit,” as we are told NOT to do in Scripture, can take many forms—and one of those forms, I believe, comes from quenching women’s giftings and development.

So this is a two-pronged thought—although it is of vital importance that the Church continue advocating for and empowering women to develop themselves and their giftings, it is also true that the ‘nooks and crannies’ of God’s mission can be revolutionary pathways of transformation, healing, and growth.

If you are from the West reading this, you might immediately assume I am only talking about cultures with values that restrict or mandate ways of being for women. For example, a few weeks ago, in a church service, a Roma friend prayed over a baby girl in a dedication ceremony. This is a Roma church and culturally, for this particular Roma group, the expectation and hope for girls are quite simple: stay a virgin, marry, have children and serve their families. This makes sense since families are one of the highest cultural values in Roma culture, which is why they have such strong social networks. There is much to be admired and emulated from this highly relational and communal way of being. However, my friend shocked the congregation with his prayer when he prayed for God to fulfill God’s purposes with the child—not just within her family but also for God’s kingdom, whatever that entailed—that she would transcend the cultural expectations if that was God’s calling.

To many from the West, this challenge is hardly revolutionary, but what about if one were to challenge the one-dimensional images of women in the Western context? Namely, the images of women I see across social media platforms whose entire effort and existence seems to revolve around skin care and looking young and sexy? In fact, I have far less patience for this distortion of humanity. I feel (this is not based on any research!) that women are being objectified and are objectifying themselves at increasing levels (thank you, influencer culture). How has our freedom to be anyone we want to be resulted in voluntarily stepping back into such a cramped space?

Both extremes are problematic—women who are restricted from developing their gifts and personhood because of their gender and women who think developing their beauty and prolonging their youth is the highest virtue of their gender. In many societies, laws of human rights and equality allow freedom for either extreme. But this is a powerful example of what a professor of mine, Bryant Myers, called the ‘cut flower syndrome’. Human rights are a wonderful development in modern society in terms of protecting people’s dignity—but if such laws are divorced from the understanding of women and men as the image of God, it can still lead to delusions or distortions of humanity.

I need to make a caveat to this— I try very hard not to force my personal ideas of what woman can and cannot do onto the different cultural milieus in which I operate. I think there is a way of encouraging and empowering women that dynamically interplays with their own cultural values. This is a difficult dance, and undoubtedly I have made mistakes and overstepped (and maybe understepped?) at times.

What are your thoughts on this matter?